detective-kelly:

If you really think I’m going to dedicate my whole life to some video game 

you would be correct

baiolicious:

i’m such an asshole but i’m also a very kind-hearted person who likes making ppl happy and if i love u i will love u with all my heart and all my soul but then i’m also such an asshole

Me: No it's ok I'll be alright I don't wanna burden you with my emotional garbage don't worry
Me: FRIEND IS SAD? TELL ME EVERYTHING. DON'T HOLD BACK. I'M HERE FOR YOU. DO YOU WANT ICE CREAM? BLANKET? I'VE CLEARED THE NEXT 5 HOURS OF MY SCHEDULE, TALK TO ME. I BROUGHT OREOS.

cccale:

"How do you two know each other?"

*makes up ridiculous lie to not have to say you met on the Internet*

bae: come over
me: do you have food
bae: my parents aren't home
me: are they coming back with food

soofyawn:

god who fucking cares. who fucking cares. who fucking cares. everyone stop being offended and mad over the smallest shit ever. ask yourself who the fuck fucking cares

alvxandra:

image

i’ve never seen something so accurate

My brother: your waifu's a slut
Me: take that back you insolent swine. We all know your waifu's been around the block a few times

sluttyoliveoil:

drivojunior:

This is a sin

actually it’s a tan

pon pon wei wei wei aobas socks are really gay